"You don't know my parents," or "My family is not like your family" are common responses I get when I start talking about caring for aging parents. The reality is that there is BAGGAGE between many parents and their adult children.
I recently offered a workshop called "4 Ways to Care and Connect with Older Supporters" at the Barnabas Foundation's Proven Strategies for Planned Giving Annual Conference. Here is a list of books that I wanted to share with all the attendees. Figured I'd put it into blog form to share with everyone.
1. Overcoming Father Wounds: Exchanging Your Pain for God's Perfect Love by Kia Stephens
My relationship with my own dad was healthy, yet I know that not everyone shares this story. This book is one that is on the top of my list to read, however, because when people have baggage and even more, unprocessed emotions because of the wounds their parents have afflicted on them, this has an extremely negative effect on the caregiving journey. Would love to hear your feedback after reading this book.
2. Translating Your Past: Finding Meaning in Family Ancestry, Genetic Clues, and Generational Trauma by Michelle Van Loon
I have been recommending this book all over. The first chapter in particular reminded me of how much we can learn about our relationships and then ourselves when we start digging into the past and reflect on it. Really worth the read, even if you only get to the first chapter!
3. Mended: Restoring the Hearts of Mothers and Daughters by Blythe Daniel and Helen McIntosh
Whenever I bring this book with me on talks, it always draws adult daughters in. Why? I think so many of us daughters love our moms, yet know there is baggage between us. Instead of complaining and simply grieving over what is not there, I love how this book brings us one step further as to what we can do to restore or as least reflect on the mother daughter relationship.
4. 5 Things to Pray for Your Parents: Prayers that Change Things for an Older Generation
Get specific with prayer. I have always prayed general prayers for those I loved, but there is something super powerful about praying about specific areas of someone's life. This book is such a practical and simple way to love your parent well, especially if being with them or serving them is not easy. As we pray intentionally for our parents, I think our hearts soften and are more able to forgive them when they've harmed us. Chelsea Stanley, I'm so grateful for this book!
